Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize