i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
