Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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