It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
