somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize