just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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