she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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