Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
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I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!