that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch