I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
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There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.