Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there (217): Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is http://tfl.nu/zrn8
  Replies (2) Good night (1311) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.

  (260): View more from Indiana

  At least you didn't call me Brittany this time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa. (260): At least you didn't call me Brittany this time http://tfl.nu/6s1p
  Replies (6) Good night (828) Bad night (1474)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY. http://tfl.nu/w16e
  Replies (24) Good night (2767) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me. http://tfl.nu/ln0p
  Replies (18) Good night (4321) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min http://tfl.nu/fx8x
  Replies (21) Good night (4411) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex. http://tfl.nu/0okh
  Replies (22) Good night (727) Bad night (5064)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose http://tfl.nu/df7a
  Replies (11) Good night (4882) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show. http://tfl.nu/h6zp
  Replies (16) Good night (7768) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk. http://tfl.nu/exk9
  Replies (25) Good night (6650) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor.... http://tfl.nu/g9pf
  Replies (10) Good night (3875) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing. http://tfl.nu/2fe4
  Replies (18) Good night (2402) Bad night (2843)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked http://tfl.nu/pl9e
  Replies (10) Good night (3416) Bad night (1510)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all http://tfl.nu/x3bd
  Replies (18) Good night (2901) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth. http://tfl.nu/apt1
  Replies (5) Good night (1318) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out... http://tfl.nu/c4rq
  Replies (0) Good night (263) Bad night (470)

Randomize