You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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