So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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