There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
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All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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