ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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