how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize