sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
