it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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