4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
