i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize