Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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