just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
