Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
