Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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