Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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