i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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