it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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