I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
