his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize