maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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