Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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