How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
