wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it's like iHOP with fire
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
