So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
