The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
