If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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