I don't usually arrange sex via text message
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
