Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
