It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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