i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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