I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I can't put those talents on a resume
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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