He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
