it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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