I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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