At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
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Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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