Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
