you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
