We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
His hands were made for my vagina.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So vagazzling was a success
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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