btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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