Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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