now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
