K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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