So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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