brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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