we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
