Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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