Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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