There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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