your thong is hanging out like whoa
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Randomize
