he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
