Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
