I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize