Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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