You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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