Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
They have beer where we have blood.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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