do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
